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03/16/09 - (1)
Profiting from Prophets
For the sake of easy categorization, You might say, no matter what you choose to call them, That they fall under the rubric of "paranormalists" —
Seers, spiritualists, fortune tellers, oracles, Augurs, soothsayers, clairvoyants, crystal-ball gazers, Astrologers, numerologists, palm/tea-leaf/tarot-card readers —
Prophets of all, Relying on prescience, intuition, pure abracadabra, To coach the broke, the bankrupt, the foreclosed.
These days of seized financial institutions, lost jobs, Quicksanding pensions, 401(k)s, nest eggs, This once-specious breed of occultists is in high demand.
The worried, nervous, terrified, anxious, mortified, agitated Are eagerly paying $85, for half an hour's advice (Twice the going rate for typical head-shrinkers),
As to what they might do to elude the economic tsunami Surging toward them, from the Ocean of Despond: "Develop new skills, for the swelling service-sector society";
"Seek positions in government"; "Purchase shares in green-technology companies"; "Acquire gold, silver"; "hide cash, under the mattress";
"Sell paintings, antiques"; "shop for secondhand clothes"; "Buy only preowned cars"; "start a vegetable garden"; "Be patient"; "pray for the best."
If you just think less traditionally, more superstitiously, It makes a kind of sensible sense. In abnormal times, why not turn to paranormalists?
And if you get through this dreadfully distressful recession, You just may have a psychic, for life, Who can help lead you to romance's lush-green pastures.
03/16/09 - (1)
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