Archive
04/13/09 - (2)
Mr. Triple-Threat
Obesity, chronic heart disease, Type 2 diabetes — America's turkey, trifecta, triple-threat whammy — Are a colossal malaise, plague, pandemic, Which, despite our state-of-the-art medical technology, Has left us flat-lining, fast.
I should know, suffering, as I do, all three — 458 pounds, with 95 percent-blocked arteries, Popping nitro tablets, sublingually, ten times a day, Sticking myself, in my elusive bellybutton, hourly, With doses of insulin that could blind a rhinocerous.
But how can you ask a guy to give up his Twinkies, His Chicken McNuggets, his Monster Thickburgers, His Guitar Hero, his TiVo, his La-Z-Boy? Tell me that the starving refugees in Darfur Wouldn't give what's left of their nuts, for what's killing me!
04/13/09 - (2)
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