Archive
04/28/09 - (2)
Mangum, OK, Is Really OK!
Believe me, folks — take it from me — If you never been to Mangum (no, that ain't "Magnum"), OK, You haven't the foggiest notion of a half-baked idea Just how much authentic American tradition, pride, and true grit You've been missin', all your lifetime, and then some.
I'm here to tell you, you got to get with it, Right this very minute, if not a second sooner than now! And what better chance to make your patriotic pilgrimage, hajj, Than durin' the annual three-day Rattlesnake Derby roundup, Hosted by the less than 3000 gutsy, plucky residents of Mangum.
To say it's a rip-snortin' head trip is to shortchange the event. Better described, it's a grass-roots hoot 'n holler Attended by 35,000 curious, come for their adrenaline rush From confrontin' (at a safe-distance-guaranteed arm's length) 1500 pounds of wrangled Western diamondback rattlesnakes,
Displayed to terrified, awe-astonished serpent worshipers, Here to bear witness to rattler beheadings, guttings, skinnings, Which, we reassure folks, is "the only strip show in Greer County." Ours is a wholesome, clean, educational, family-friendly weekend, The kind of down-and-dirty you can bring your four-year-old to.
For free (of course, the eats and drinks is available everywhere, At the appropriate upcharge necessary to benefit we townfolks), You can watch darin' young men do their macho thing, Climbin' in and out of sleepin' bags swarmin' with snakes, Navigatin' piles of hissin' ground-slides, avoidin' poisonous fangs. There's even one amazin' old-timer who dazzles the crowds, By takin' the still-beatin' hearts of freshly killed vipers And swallowin' 'em whole, as though he was the pope himself, Scarfin' down communion wafers like they was Milk Duds — Mmmm-mmmm! Now that's some serious eatin', pard!
Still other bucks handle the wrigglin' ophidian critters, by the tails, As if they was strings of Duncan yo-yos, doin' insane tricks. And at the end of the three-day day, All what matters is a good time was had by all and no one died, And Mangum, OK, gets a big jolt of joy juice, to the economy,
Enough to tide us local businesses over, for another year, Until the true believers return, for the next episode Of the Greatest Serpent Spectacle in the Face of the Earth, To spend another unforgetful weekend with toxic Crotalus atroxes And live to tell the grandkids they done seen the devil go down.
04/28/09 - (2)
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