Inevitability
Tonight might have been the final night of my life,
Had I not decided, at the last minute,
Not to pursue suicide, for reasons yet lost on me.
After three hours of reconsidering,
Riddled with grave misgivings,
I'm wondering if I acted in my own best interest,
Whether, once again, I was too precipitous
In throttling another knee-jerk urge to shoot from the hip,
Pull the trigger, kill the stragglers of my will to live.
At eighty-eight, all I can think is that after half a century
Of failing to exterminate myself — Jew-vermin —
Der Führer must still have another inevitability for me.
05/05/09 - (2)
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