Archive 06/22/09 - (1)

   

Magic Mint, Anyone?

                                                                  

Now, finally, perhaps, the cat's about to be out of the bag,

Or if not the cat, at least the catnip's first cousin,

This Mazatec medicine man from Massillon, Ohio's

First line of defense, in the War on Drugs,

My armamentarium against "whatever ails ya" —

Psilocybin "magic" mushrooms, psychedelic morning-glory seeds,

And, naturally, the naturally freaky leaves of Salvia divinorum.

 

Listen, if that "good shit"

Was good enough for the likes of the Beatles' George Harrison,

LSD creator Albert Hofmann, dropped-out Timothy Leary,

And, doubtless, Up in Smoke's Cheech and Chong,

It sure as shit should be good enough shit

For the likes of you and me, and I ain't shittin' ya!

Me? I prefer Salvia divinorum leaves, which I brew into a drink.

 

I'll be honest; I get off on hallucinations

That are highly personal and emotionally enlightening,

Visions ranging from Shroud of Turin Jesus

To grilled-cheese-sandwich Virgin Mary

To Graceland Elvis, come to me in Xanadu's field of dreams.

Smoking the stuff can be hazardous to your health;

Drinking it, like Metamucil, lets it all come out in the wash.

 

Face it — there's nothing like a good old rib-sticking high

When a guy's in the dumps, down low in the doldrums,

Needing a real quick-fix, picker-upper kick in the sweet spot,

To erase his skepticism of mankind's ultimate value.

And what better way than to throw back some "magic mint"?

It sure beats Blood Marys, autoerotic asphyxiation,

Gator wrestling, deep-fried Twinkies, or porking your mother.

 

 

 

                                               

 

06/22/09 - (1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
       

 

 
   
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