Archive
08/04/09 - (1)
Ice-Cream Squirrels
In the "Forum" section of this morning's USA Today, Jonah Goldberg writes, of our vice president, Referring to his tendency for running off at the mouth, "Yes, Biden is occasionally a truth-teller. But, just as often, he's explaining How...squirrels would taste more like ice cream If goats were only taller."
Reading this, I'm pratfallen, with itchy, giddy glee, As if I were in my third-grade classroom again, Watching a caged, hungry, horny female praying mantis Devouring the delectable head of its copulating mate. Goldberg's hyperbole, suggesting obtuseness in high places, Carries my imagination to even more absurd heights, Sets me free to set free my own lampoon.
I imagine Joe being sent to the Oval Office cloakroom, After meeting Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, And waxing patriotically, In his role as ersatz White House spokesman, "We believe that deeply fundamentalist Islamic theocracies Are, to the free world's democracies, what caviar is to Spam, Dom Pérignon to Classic Coke, Allah to Michael Jackson."
08/04/09 - (1)
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