Playbill
Tonight's program, sponsored by Vagisil, al-Qa'eda, and NASCAR,
Will be performed by the Classical Gas Kats,
Deepak Chopra and Lawrence Welk dueling conductors.
The Classical Gas Kats:
George "Gone with the" Gershwin . . . principal oblow
Johannes "The Bull" Brahmans . . . assistant principal oblow
Joseph "Goebbels" Haydn-Seek . . . upright meat organ
Sergei Sir-Gay-a-Bitch Pro-Kofi-Annan-Ev . . . bone-o-phone
Py-Odor Seven-Year-Ilyich Tchai-Milk-Cow-Ski . . . principal penist
Lewd-Wig Van Beat-Off-Often . . . flesh-organ grinder
Jacques-Strap Beat-Often-Bach . . . assistant flesh-organ grinder
Sir Ill-Wind El-Gar-Fish . . . skin flute
Wolf-Gang-Bang Ammonium Boats-in-the-Moats-Art . . . tromboner
Franz If-the-Shoe-Fits-Bert . . . strumpet trumpet
Piccolo Faganini . . . principal vile-lin
Hector "The Infector" Burley-Toes . . . French-lick hornswoggler
Feel-Licks "The Fat Cat" Meddlesome . . . contra-assoon
Afraid-of-His-Reek Schmo-Pan . . . principal tuba steak
Fronds "Chinese Laundry" List . . . second vile-lin
Richard "Nazi Dick" Flogner . . . pickle-hole
Jewseppe "Mean Joe Green" Verdi . . . tim-bed-pani
Beverage Smegma . . . clarinut
Ca-Meals-on-Wheels Scent-of-a-Woman-Saëns . . . French-kiss horn
Jock-Perry-Como Pooch-Weenie . . . cymballs
Nickle-and-Dime-Lai Rimshot-of-Course-He-Can't . . . dong gong
Uncle-and-Aunt-o'-Nin Divorced-Jacques . . . castrate-nets
Goosestep Mauler . . . pubular bells
Blue-Jean Si-Pearl-Bailey-Us . . . xylobone
Sir-Gay Rocks-Mom-Enough . . . whorenet
Odorino No-Resphigi-de-English . . . hair drum
Al-Gore Stravin-Ski-Slope . . . toilet paper and comb
Robert "The Red Goose" Shoemann . . . E-flat used condom
Gio-Thermal-a-Chino Roast-Weenie . . . IUD kazoo
Yo-Ho-Hohann Stress . . . plunger and toliet bowl
Ralphed Van Will-I-Ams . . . whips and chains
The Program:
Flatulence for the Common Asshole
English Horny Concerto in E-flat-chested majorette
Beat-Wild-Rice and Eggs Benedict Overture
Phony Symphony no. 69, "From the New Worm"
Handjob's Messiah
William Telltale Tanned-Hide-Hoser Overture
Sym-Cell-Phony no. 3, "Erotica"
Blow-Me-O and Julie-Wet Sexual Fantasy Leftoverture
The Wrong of Bed-Spring
And the Finale (presented by Burger's Smokehouse):
"Chopsticks": Pee-ano Fugue Scared-So no. 0, for Twelve Paws
12/06/09 - (2)
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