Archive
02/11/10
Count Choke-the-Chicken's Stroke-of-Midnight Ball
At the resounding downbeat of 12:00, precisely, precisely, precisely, During Count Choke-the-Chicken's Stroke-of-Midnight Ball, That eerie hour when all the coaches of those attending
Were rendered back into grotesquely rotted kinky-haired pumpkins And the horses that pulled them turned into beady-eyed mice And the hooknose coachman reverted to a fat Shylockian rat
And the obsequious footmen metamorphosed into scaly green lizards And the goose-stepping Prince Heydrich von Charming Receded into anonymity, out of inutterably despairing lamentation,
As the most beautiful lady in the land, Hadassah Cinderellastein, Wearing fairy-godmother Kristallnacht slippers and ragtag gown, Admitted she suffered from AIDS, PTSD, OCD, ADD, SIDS,
And the most heinous, egregious, degenerate disease of all, At least to the purest of pure Aryan purifying sensibilities, YIDS, Something of, if only slightly lesser, ignominy happened,
To disturb the entire world order, In the form of a diminutive pretender to the poor prince's throne, A stumbling, pedestrian, half-assed Austrian street-bum watercolorist,
Dreaming of succeeding to the upper echelon of the Viennese academy, When, indeed, he was nothing but just the poster child for depravity, A scuzzy, little, mustachioed one-armed wallpaper-hanger bastard
Named Adolf Spank-the-Monkey-Businessbaum, Who, in time, would putsch the prince's sway, to mere beer, As chancellorizing mastermind of the Thousand-Year Clearance,
Righter of Jewish wrongs, and such, against all God-fearing Teutons... Something else altogether entirely occurred, To totally, wholly, completely destabilize the kingdom at large,
Which brought the prince to his feeble knees, with a spell of necromancy, Taught him to crave, covet, cherish, beg for Adolf's guidance, Ordered him to roam the countryside, in search of the one just-right foot
That would fit the single Kristallnacht slipper Hadassah had left behind, And kill every woman and man and child whose smelly feet Couldn't squeeze into that transparent Schuh.
And after ridding the fiefdom of all too-big- and too-small-feet people, Prince Heydrich von Charming discovered Hadassah Cinderellabaum Being shtupped and shtrangled and shtrudeled by Herr Adolf Führer.
Devastated, heart-roasted, overwhelmed with asphyxiating passion, The prince shoved his head into his castle's belching kitchen gas oven, And Spank-the-Monkey-Businessbaum lived sadistically ever after.
02/11/10
|
|||
|
|||
