Archive
02/16/12
There Once Arose an Ayatollah
If ever there arose, among the evilest of evil, cloven-hoofed peoples Deeply rooted in the Fertile Crescent culture of Mesopotamia, A mightier ruler than the Ayatollah Khomeini himself, To safeguard the safety of his faithful idolaters, infidels, pagans, heathens, He was not known to the high-holiest chief vizier of historians, Mahmoud al-Assad Faisal Mubarak Ahmadinejad Hussein, Nor to his most holy keeper of the keys to the sacred virgins' seraglio.
A more disgustingly insufferable, degenerate denizen of the darkest deeps, A more terrifyingly hostile approximation of a demented barbarian, Autochthonous vestige of a Stone Age monstrosity of pure freakishness, Had, in the collective memory of all civilizations yet flourishing Between the Tigris and Euphrates, the Jordan and the Nile, Never stepped, barefoot, in the desert sands, in the oasal waters, Than today's Iranian caliph, to finalize the vermin the Nazi caliphate missed.
And, oh, what holy perfidy and woe, what dreadful deathly tribulation He fully intended to heap on them, in the form of sadistic Koranic plagues — Chemical, biological, psychological, nuclear, spiritual — Until he succeeded in "wiping them off the groin and anus of the map," As his sacred phrase described his vision's version of their extermination. Suffice it to say that this awesomely frightening modern-day Goliath Had the entire Jewish nation wondering if it were still God's Chosen
Or if it should have surrendered, succumbed, seven decades earlier, When it still had an Untermenschen's chance to bow out, gracelessly, To the arch-/proto-/ur-epitome of sinister Satanic abominations, Herr Reichfeldmarschall Adolf "Sieg Heil" Schicklgruber Hitler, And take itself out of its doubt's misery, once and for all, since the Fall, Or if it should yet attempt a preemptive strike against its dread enemy, On the off chance that one of its U.S.-loaned GBU-57 bunker-busters Just might penetrate the Ayatollah's divinely ordained centrifuges And even up the terrible odds of existential annihilation. Tonight, the world beyond Mesopotamia, the MiddleEarthEast, Waits, with breath-taking trepidation, to see which tribe prevails, Ishmael's or Isaac's, which religion survives its immodest hypocrisies, Waits and hopes and prays that saner minds arise from the Apocalypse, To say, "Allah über Alles" and "adiós to God" or "no más," "shalom."
02/16/12
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