Archive
07/17/09
A Wrinkle in Time
For some reason beyond human reckoning or preternatural insight, Time delighted, inordinately, in his coming and going; Indeed, it caught more than a few brief scenes Of his foreshortened existence, But none quite so monstrously gruesome as his birth and death.
He was the most wrinkled baby time had ever fathered. It held him in flagrant disdain, unrivaled contempt, from day one, As evidenced by the grotesquery it caused his flesh to suffer. In essence, he was a wizened old man, Upon being expelled from his prepubescent-prostitute mother.
He looked like a baked apple. In school, he was "Wrinklepuss" and "Wrinklestiltskin" But only cried a lot when he was called "Freak" and "Uglyfuck." He dropped out, in the seventh grade. Then he was hired, at twelve, as an "oddity" in an illegal carnival,
Where he endured, in relative peace, for the next ten years, Moonlighting as a jack-of-all-unacceptable-trades (His favorite tasks were babysitting the performing Gaboon vipers And teaching the three-legged pachyderms to mix martinis, smoke opium, Tap their toes, to Mozart, and paint Jackson Pollock knockoffs).
The vipers, who craved (especially when molting) his abrasive hide, And the elephants, who were downright jealous of his wrinkles, Possessed an innate, more-than-skin-deep affinity with him, Saw him as one of their own, accepted his dermal affliction, Without so much as batting a split tongue or a mutilated trunk. Only time seemed to have it in for him, Go out of its way not only to see that his wrinkles multiplied But that his mass continued its precipitous downsizing, Until, so contracted was he, That he began using his microwave as his primary residence.
By the time he was twenty-two, He bore as much resemblance to a human creature As a steam locomotive does to a bottle of clabbered buttermilk. He'd been so reduced and shriveled That he was frequently mistaken for a Medjool date or a prune.
Within three years, he'd assumed the shape and size of a raisin. One night, during the carney cook's "Anglo Extravaganza," He was accidentally mixed into a vat of spotted dick, Served up, and eaten by the Twin Vagina Crocodile Lady. Time was furious, since it had infinitely more, of less, in store for him.
07/17/09
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